Yesterday

I was very dissatisfied yesterday - sitting for 4 hours in the Radiology waiting room.  I think I have figured out why I was so distraught about the whole thing.  We are just not used to living with cancer yet.  It's a very new thing for us, and we feel confused and just generally in the dark.  For us, it is a Very Big Deal.

At the hospital, they deal with all kinds of people with all kinds of maladies, and they go from one to the other and try to be personable and efficient.  While we sat there we watched many people pass through the radiology doors and return and leave the hospital.  We sat there totally clueless.  Four different staff members came out to say a few words to us, but there was no continuity of personnel, and no in depth explanations of the most basic sort.

Approximately every hour, I would go back to the desk to see what was up, and every time there was nothing.  The desk lady said - You have more patience than I have!  I said - What makes you think that I'm patient!  She said - Well you hide it very well.  Of course I do.  These are not the people that I want to antagonize!  We're on the same team.  I want to be on their good side.  Ye gods.

It became obvious to me after a while that even though my situation is a Very Big Deal to us, it didn't matter at all to the staff.  We were just a ho-hum part of their day, and we felt like it. We began to feel like part of the furniture - there, but taken for granted and effectively invisible.  Maybe it's just part of living with cancer.  At this point, I have no clue.

  I was fasting for the scan, and Dick hadn't eaten either.  There was nothing available to drink, and I admit that Dick could have gone to the cafeteria, but he waited a long time before he went and got a cup of coffee.

The lesson I learned yesterday was that nobody cares about my cancer as much as we do.  I have to ask a lot of questions, and try to figure out what's best on my own.  For instance, after reading the fine print on the Omnipaque order (the fluid I drank way back at 5 a.m.), I found out that after drinking it, I should discontinue Metformin for 48 hours because of a potentially dangerous reaction.  I take Metformin twice a day, and it's listed on my meds sheet that had been turned in.   Nobody told me to not take it for 48 hours, so if I hadn't read it for myself, I would have taken it routinely.  This has me a little nervous about things that I'm told and things that I'm not told.

 Since I'm in no way a medical person, it appears that I have a lot to learn, and quickly.